The Hidden Addiction of Toxic Family Relationships
For many decades, doctors and scientists have warned us that smoking greatly increases the chance of developing certain types of cancers. According to the World Health Organization, smoking accounted for 23% of cancer cases in men.1 While the causes of many cancers are still being researched, we know smoking can have significant impacts on overall health. In addition to cancer, there are certain reproductive health issues in both men and women, pregnancy complications, weakened immune systems, vision and oral problems, skin and appearance problems, and musculoskeletal issues. Given how widely these risks are known, it raises an interesting question: what keeps people smoking? For some, smoking is mostly social and tends to happen while drinking alcohol. For others, smoking becomes a way to cope. For many, nicotine is highly addictive. It reaches the brain within 10 seconds of inhaling. It causes a dopamine rush. Dopamine is a “feel good” chemical that can create a sense of relief, pleasure, and focus.2 After that dopamine leaves your brain, your body craves more. As those dopamine levels drop, some experience irritability, anxiety, and cravings.
As a therapist, I often find myself wondering why some people stay in relationships that can be toxic in many of the same ways smoking can be. Perhaps you’ve been raised with these people and you’ve heard terms like, “blood is thicker than water,” “you only get one family,” etc. Messages like this can make people feel stuck, as if choosing distance means doing something wrong. “Poor family relationships during upbringing can have serious negative mental-health consequences that persist into mid-adulthood.”3 Staying in a toxic family relationship long-term has severe side effects like chronic anxiety, poor self-esteem, physical symptoms like inflammation, depression, PTSD, and more. You may feel constantly fatigued, feel like you’re walking on eggshells, have high levels of tension, or have deep-seated feelings of worthlessness and confusion.
If you’re starting to recognize these patterns in your own life, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Therapy can help untangle complicated family dynamics and learn how to create boundaries that protect you and your peace. If you’re ready to take the first step, I’d be honored to support you.
